Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hey, Random's in the name: The Dancing with the Stars Season 6 cast.

OK, the only thing I will say about this show in general is that I didn’t really want to start watching it, but my wife did, and I at first refused but over the course of Season 4 got sucked in. I was a big Apolo-Julianne Fan (thought Joey and Laila were awesome as well). I also thought that Scary Spice was robbed last season. ROBBED!

That said, I watch it because it is often on the level of an interesting train wreck. And I love, looove, love it when the judges are mean to them. And Tom Bergeron is often worth the time all by himself. I’ve been a big TB fan ever since he was on that weird Fox morning news show in the early 90’s. I can’t remember the name, but I think it involved puppets in some form or another. I may be delusional. Aside: is there a more worthless TV personality than Samatha Harris? Why is she even there?

I am sad to admit that we did watch that horrible Dance War show with Bruno and Carrie Ann. Seriously, it was almost as bad as Crowned. The only highlight was during the finale, when Kenny Mayne returned with Dance Center to name the next cast. (Kenny Mayne is teh awesome.!)

My reaction? I was underwhelmed. But that may be because I was really, really hoping that Donny Osmond was going to follow in the footsteps of his sister. Have you SEEN the White and Nerdy video? That would have been spectacular. But no.

Most of the people actually on the show? Meh. There could be something interesting happen, but the cast itself is actually kind of blah. I do have a few thoughts on the teams, however.

They are obviously paring Julianne Hough with Adam Carolla in an attempt to break her streak. Either that, or they have so much confidence in her skills that they think she cand pull out another win. Maybe it’s a final level boss scenario? This will be her greatest challenge. Whatever. She’s still off-the-scale hot and nothing Adam can do will take that away from us. Actually, that's not true, is it? f he screws up and gets her eliminated, she'll be off the show. Someone replace Adam Carolla with a dancing robot right now!

Can I be forgiven for the fact that when I saw the name Monica Seles I immediately thought about how her stab wound was going to affect things? And then I wondered if she was going to grunt every time she completed an intricate move. That could mess up the timing. I was also really hoping they were going to pair her with Maks, but he isn’t even on the show this year, which is a shame. I liked his attitude.

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough? It’s just going to be a pretty-off, isn’t it? Maybe she was the only one who’d make him look like a real, grown-up boy, since Jennie Garth certainly couldn’t do it.

After the Wayne Newton Fiasco, producers make it up to Cheryl Burke by giving her a hottie latin actor. This could backfire. See also : Albert Reed.

They’ve paired Karina with another Mario. Someone has a sense of humor.

Penn Gillette gets Kym, who’s always solid but never makes it all the way. I don’t think it’s been her. I mean, she took Joey to the finale. For some reason, however, I think Penn is going to be this year’s so-awful-it’s-entertaining contestant and will, thus, make it pretty far. He’s also got a fan base. See also: Billy Ray Cyrus.

Then we have Mrs. Elvis, herself. I don’t even know how to react to this one. She’s been off the radar for so long that I don’t know if there’s a fan base to vote for her. The upshot is that the fan base is likely to be old, and a lot of the people who watch this show are old (yes, all right, case in point) so that may work in her favor. It’s probably what kept Jane Seymour in the competition way, waay, waaay past the time she should gave gone (to be fair, a dead mom and food poisoning played a role here as well). So, Priscilla probably needs to off one of her relatives or have a stroke halfway through the competition just to play it safe.

Marlee Matlin might be a spoiler. She may be deaf, but has danced before. Remember her as The Dancing Bandit on Picket Fences? I know deaf people can feel music even if they can't hear it (thanks, very special episode of Quantum Leap!) so she'll be better than people assume. Her partner is new to the show, I think, so who knows what will happen there. Maks would have been awesome.

I don’t even have opinions on the rest of the cast, really. Jason Taylor could be a contender, as could Broadway’s Tracy Turnblad, who may be a sentimental favorite in our house depending on the personality. My wife is geeking out over Kristi Yamaguchi (don’t ask) but really …. I really wish Donny Osmond would have signed on.

And Steve Fucking Guttenberg? Yikes. I haven’t even been able to look at pictures of him since he played the child-molesting mayor on Veronica Mars. Derek Hough better watch out backstage.


K.O said...

I'm all for Donny Osmond! And I was going to type something else, but forgot, so I'll leave it at that. lol

The Random Avenger said...

we need to start some sort of peteition to get Donny to do it!

K.O said...

Okay, now I remember. Tom Bergeron: great in all venues. He's just so darn affable, I'm totally into it. Monica Seles: I had the same thoughts! Shoot, there was one more thing, this is becoming a bad memory habit...more to come later.

Viva la Donny!

K.O said...

Oh yes, I remember now, that Samantha Harris-what's-her-name(?) is so not necessary.