Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Random Acts of Blogness

Shut up, dial-up internet connection, which promises a blindingly fast 56.6 k but can only ever deliver 50.6 on a good day. And shut up all of you telling me I need broadband. I know I need broadband, god how I know. When we get the new house and are moved in, ok? We have a brilliant, kind, generous realtor working on the situation. But for now, stupid dial-up, poking along, like my father on the information superhighway, and the stupid "web site cannot be displayed" message when I try to read my own goddamned blog. It might as well say "Fuck You! You still have dial-up." So, shut up, dial-up!

And shut-up, brokeback cheerleader. Just stop it with the chipper and the sheering and the MOVING YOUR ARMS AND LEGS AS THEY TAKE YOU OFF THE COURT! God, as if cheerleaders weren't annoying enough. It's not AWESOME, It's not OK. IT IS PSYCHO! So, shut up, cheerleader. THat goes for all of you. Unless you're Eliza Dushku in Bring it On. You can say anything you want.

Shut up, noise in my car I cannot identify. You're scaring me, and drowning out my ipod. I think you might actually be some kind of new life-form spawmed by my kids' cast-off fast-food detritus and you're trying to communicate with me. If so? Stop it. I am not interested. I have enough life forms in my life that I have to commmunicate with already, and I suck at that, so this? Is too much pressure. Go find a bio-scientist or something. Shut up, noise in my car.

Shut up peopple trying to spoil last night's Amazing Race for me. I have not seen it yet. I have TiVo, and am not a slave to network schedules, and they moved it to ten o'clock, and we were tired. Shut up, spoiler people.

And shut up sore throat, which made me not go to the gym and run to work out this frustration and which is probably responsible for this bog entry. I know you're there, you can stop it with the going away for a while and then coming back to make my voice squeak like a pubescent 12-year-old when i'm talking to my students, making them laugh at me and causing me to yell, "oh yeah, have you heard how all of you sound?" And then having the principal come in to watch me for the rest of the day because I am apparently "unstable" whatever. Shut up, sore throat.

That is all.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Thanks for your kind words on my blog. Truthfully, you and Kate are two of the most expressive of thanks when I play and it means so much to me. The Eastern Star meeting is going on right now. I walked out.

Oh my gosh, from the minute I walked in I felt this enormous negative vibe. Apparenly the meetings start at 7:30pm, or so I was told. Well, from the looks I was getting from the "usual suspects" you'd think I committed first-degree murder for walking in at 7 frickin' 25.

I'm sorry to vent this to you, I'm just not sure how else to make my voice heard. I just felt incredibly insecure and unwelcome and for the first time in a long time I experienced the "fight or flight" feeling and I flew to the restroom, where I cried my eyes out. Maybe this is all better suited for an e-mail. I don't know. I just couldn't stay there tonight.

So, along the lines of your "shut up" post, which I rather enjoyed , by the way, here is my addition:

Shut up people who judge and know nothing (and care to know nothing) about others' lives except for the tiny smidget that you see of them. Shut up people who think they are better than you, and shut up to those who are so concerned about starting on time (heck, even early!) that they can't frickin' say Hi to somebody, or-- heaven forbid--smile at them. (You do not fall in this caegory, oh avenger of randomness). grrrr